Written by Rikki Clay

Photography & graphics by Desiree Daos

Modeled by Annabella Diaz, Olivia Cordero, Lily Elcan, & Sophia Farnan

Recently, it has been difficult to find people who empathize with others. A large portion of this problem can be caused by our unhealed inner child. According to Oxford Languages, an inner child is “a person’s supposed original or true self, especially when regarded as damaged or concealed by negative childhood experiences.” For many people, the inner child holds onto seeking joy and finding wonder in the world around us, but this part of our subconscious can also grasp onto feelings of harm, fear, anxiety, loneliness, or insecurity in youth (Ashley Treatment).

Why is our inner child an important aspect of who we are now? As stated before, this part of our subconscious can hold onto a lot of harm or trauma from childhood, which then affects how we act as adults. In order to heal the inner child, we must give it the attention it needs. We must understand that some people have faced distress during childhood, no matter the reason. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, and we need to understand this concept in order to heal.

Childhood trauma can present itself in many different ways. Trauma is a subjective experience that can look different to everyone. As a child of divorce and a bisexual, transgender individual, I have experienced a large amount of trauma. Bullying and harassment have caused me to go through a great deal of trauma and I am also working on healing my own inner child. Through my own healing journey and reading about others’ journeys, I have discovered in order to heal the child inside, it is important to let yourself be a kid. Things as simple as setting aside time in your day where you can just let loose, play, and have fun can be very beneficial. It is important to honor your inner child so you can feel safe enough to heal.

Just as it is important to acknowledge your own inner child, it is important to acknowledge that of others as well. As I said before, it is difficult to find people who empathize with others, which is something that can stem from their inner child. All of us were children at one point; some of us are still hurting and do not quite understand why. Understanding this is a key component to helping yourself and others through this process. It is crucial to have a trusted individual who can support you through the process of healing your inner child; this person could be a friend, a therapist, a partner, or any other person. A lot of people might not even need guidance or solutions, they need someone who will listen to them and support them through their journey. Words of affirmation can be crucial, and this can help with your own empathy and compassion.

During the healing journey, many people need to go back and “reparent” themselves. Of course, this does not necessarily mean there was a problem with the way you were parented to begin with. Reparenting is healing your childhood wounds now that you are an adult. Reparenting yourself allows you to better your own mental well-being as well as relating to others in life through your journey and healing with them. There are five components I recommend when reparenting the child in you:

Calling reinforcements (your trusted person)
Scheduling “recess” or playtime
Writing a letter to yourself as a child
Meditating
Creating and repeating affirmations

Going through these steps can be difficult for many, but bringing in a trusted individual can help you through this.

The process of healing can be very long and draining, but in the end, the inner peace gained is worthwhile. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this process; all of our inner children could use a little healing. I hope that this article pushes you to heal and that we can all make peace with the kid in us.

Honoring Your Inner Child