Falling in Love With My Skin
Written by: Blu Campbell
Graphic by: Rein Stepien
The first time I saw a pimple on my face, I was in 6th grade. 11 years old and trying to figure out what this white dot on my forehead was, I ran to my older brother asking, “What’s this huge dot on my face?” “It means you’re growing up.” That didn’t make any sense to me, what does this have to do with me growing up?
It felt like overnight a bunch of zits and blackheads appeared on my face. Sure, my other classmates maybe had a blemish or two, but none of them looked quite as bad as I did. And, as middle schoolers do, they teased me for it. A lot. By the time the first half of seventh grade was over, the term “pizzaface” held no weight to me, at least I acted like it didn’t. Truthfully, it hurt a lot, and it was incredibly hard to deal with at such a vulnerable age.
By the time COVID rolled around, I was in shambles over my skin. I just wanted a new face. I went to bed hoping, begging, to wake up with perfectly clear skin. I would spend what felt like hours inspecting my skin in the mirror, picking and scratching in hopes it would help. I would love to say that as I got older and went through high school, it got easier or that my skin magically cleared, but that wouldn’t be true. At least my classmates were also going through puberty and had plenty of pimples of their own. I went through what felt like a million different products trying to figure out what would finally “fix” my skin, and nothing. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school that I had started to accept that acne was totally normal, and not something I needed to repent for. Nevertheless, when I got to college I was still stuck on thinking that my acne was disgusting. Soon enough, I was back to furiously searching for new products, and even a custom skincare routine. When my skin was clearer, I felt better about myself. However, I would just repeat the process whenever I had an acne flare-up.
It was in college where I started regularly seeing people with pimple patches on their faces. I’d used them before, but I was always too self-conscious to leave the house with them on. Seeing them on the faces of my peers altered how I viewed pimple patches. It assured me that I wasn’t going to get looked at funny for having some bad acne. I wear Starface pimple patches pretty often. They come in a variety of colors, and they’re relatively cheap too, making them an easy choice for me. I see them pretty frequently on people's faces around campus, meaning I don’t stick out just for wearing them.
“Approximately 85% of people between the ages 12 and 24 experience at least minor acne,” says the American Academy of Dermatology. A common misconception is that you get acne if you’re dirty, and that’s not true at all as acne has many causes. Acne develops from clogged pores; genetics, hormones/puberty and stress are the main reasons, but oily hair and makeup products can also be contributors. It’s perfectly normal, especially in teenagers and young adults, and having it doesn’t make you gross.
While my experience with acne drastically impacted my confidence, I’m obviously not the only person to experience acne, so I did an anonymous survey asking for some perspective from others. “I've struggled with acne on my face and body ever since I was in middle school, and still have problems with it now. I felt disgusting for years because no matter how many treatments I tried, I never saw the perfectly clear skin results I was promised,” someone responds. They say a lot of their issues with acne came from their diet and hormones, “the fact that it is because of processes in my body, and not my fault, helps me a lot to feel more confident about my skin. If I had learned about these causes years earlier, I would have been saved a lot of stress and scarring from all of my breakouts I have been fighting for so long.” Another responder tells me, “As someone who deals with issues with impulsivity and OCD, it’s very hard for me to avoid skin picking and exacerbating my skin issues further. There’s definitely a shame around this behavior, which makes it harder to deal with.” They talk about the overwhelming number of products there are to choose from, and how that can make everything feel worse. “It’s hard to figure out what exact combination of products I “need” when there’s so many options at the store and so many people online telling me different things.”
To conclude, acne is a totally normal thing to experience. Having it doesn’t mean you’re dirty or disgusting, it’s just something most of us go through. You and your skin are beautiful, acne and all!